Paris Hilton's animal-prostitution ring: Client list revealed!

Hollywood Scandal! 

Celebrities fear for their careers as star-packed client list goes public!

So, her we go! The juicy bits are starting to fall from the bone, as the trial against Paris Hilton is pending.

Apparently Paris is starting to realize that she is in some seriously hot water, cuz she is selling out old "costumers" - one by one. So far we have these celebs as confirmed animal-prostitution costumers: You will be shocked!

1. Gary Busey!

   

Gary Busey has, according to court-documents, been purchasing "favors" from 3 different animals on at least 26 occasions since 2004!!!! 

The main object of his affection seems to be a 4 year old chimp named Sven-Douglas. Gary has been spending close to three months with S-D, including a lavish trip to a private island in the Caribbean! 

Besides from S-D Gary has twice "hooked up" with a Texas based Donkey named Küche, and a medium sized porcupine known only as "P", due to privacy requests from P's current foster family.

Yeezus!

2. Mike Tyson:

Mike Tyson has been a regular costumer for years, and his favorite "sweetheart" is a pigeon named Daisy, which Mike actually ended up buying from Paris in 2010. Daisy passed away due to "natural causes" in late 2012. 

Since Mike has been rebounding with a wide range of different animals through "Forbidden Forrest". 

His last purchase was in May, 2013 where he had a two hour rendezvous with a mole from Scottsdale, Arizona named "Dickson".


For more information, on this CWAZY case: click here, here & here

Story developing....

Unrecognizable X-tina will star in new "Terrence Malick" western!

It's official! 

X-tina has landed another movie role.

This time she will appear in an "erotic western meets free Willy meets Mrs. Doubtfire"... Sounds... ahem.. unique... 

Among the other cast members are A-listers such as Calista "Ally McBeal" Flockhart & Adam "hoover" Sandler. What a line-up!

Tom Cruise finally "speaks the truth"

"Yes, it is true: I'm gay"

After numerous years of denying the truth, Tom is finally ready to come clean about his secret life as a gay man! And a possible heir to the british throne!

We applaud you Tom, for finally telling, what everyone has known for ages. But Tom also throws a surprise loveaffair into the equation: A budding romance with Britains very own Prince Charles.

In an interview with People coming out this week, Tom Cruise spills the beans on his privat sex life. And we have a few interesting quotes for ya, right here:

On his failed relationship to Katie Holmes Cruise says the following:

"Its funny 'cause it felt kinda real with Katie for a while. I mean, she kind of reminds you a little bit of a dude, with the, you know, tomboy attitude an all. It all went south when she got pregnant though. I mean, what dude gets knocked up? The swollen boobs and all that, YUK! But Suri is the single most precious thing in my life, she has my genes and I se myself in her. But the whole pregnancy thing made me think of Katie as more of a baby making machine, and not much else..."

"...she (Katie) kind of reminds you a little bit of a dude.."

On his lovelife he says:

"It was really wild in the 80s, The Top Gun Years! I was O.N F.I.R.E! I had studs all over the place. I used to go down to the docks with Bob Saget and Mickey Rourke. We were kind af an item back then. Oh man! I also have to mention Will Smith, we have definitely been "spankin' the banana" a few times over the years! I would snort that guy! Seriously: if you ever get the chance, you sleep with Will! Jada is one lucky lady! That man is a walking r*m-job!

"we have definitely been "spankin' the banana" a few times over the years!"

On why he is finally coming out:

"I'm Tom Cruise, I don't live a lie! Its just my decision when i wanna tell people stuff about myself! Its a Scientology thing. I felt it was time, when you hit 50 its a lot easier to hit up a date, especially with a king to be, if people know that you are in fact gay. I am gay. And proud! And just simply a very awesome man and human being!"

I am gay. And proud! And just simply a very awesome man and human being!"

On his romance with Prince Charles:

"I just want to say that when you find that special someone, who can FINALLY help you become a member of the The Royal Family, something I always knew I was born to, you grab on to that person and make it marry you, even if that means hog-tying it, and dragging it down the aisle! But he is a dear man. A bit old. And what he lacks in the face, is well compensated for by his Royal titles!

 "He is a dear man."

"What he lacks in the face, is well compensated for by his Royal titles!"

If you want to read the rest of this very honest interview, pick up a copy of People magazine, or stay tuned for more, right here on BigFatLies!










Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity

First band on the moon:

Celine Dion to become first singer in space!

Early may next year, the first concert to ever take place in outer space, will be preformed on the moon by not other than Miss Celine Dion. 

So far Justin Bieber has bought a ticket...

This is something out of the ordinary! A concert on the moon, with Celine "my heart will go on" Dion. 

The ticket prices start at 17.500.000 $, which includes the trip and several freeze dried meals on board of a real spaceship! 

So, will we be seeing you in the ticket line or is it to "out of this world" for your budget? 

Let us know...

George, is that a leotard?

Former president of The United States, George W. Bush, goes shopping at Wallmart in his undies..!

What an... ehm... interesting.. look for the former president? George Walker Bush was spotted yesterday at a Wallmart in Kansas, sporting a salmon/flesh colored leotard and not much else.

Other shoppers noted that George smelled like "dogs urine" and was "talking very loudly to him self about hammock repair", while checking out the frozen foods section.

What on God's green earth has happened here? Just the fact that the former most powerfull man on earth was sporting dreadlocks?? 

To make matters worse, earlier this month a picture of "Bushy" wearing a tin foil hat, found its way on to the internet...

Do you think that George has lost it or is he just finally showing his true colors? 

Sound of below.

Story developing....

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Odd date?

Sharon Stone seen walking with strange man in diaper!

So, gorgeous Sharon Stone seemed to have a fun day yesterday! 

After doing some shopping and sidewalk strolling in Hollywood on wednesday, Sharon Stone apparently ran into this elderly, diaper wearing fella. Sharon, gracious as always, seemed to handle the situation with a smile. In fact the odd couple walked several blocks together with diaper-man on the phone and Sharon giggling away.

Turns out the fella was no stranger to the Stone at all. He is a "busines associate". Exactly which busines these two are engaging in, we really don't know. But we sure would like to...

Sharon Stones reps tells us that the man's name is Gleba George and that the two go waaaay back. But thats all they are willing to spill at this point.

Maybe this is Hollywoods new odd couple?

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Enjoy:

Simply because she happens to be the most gorgeous thing on this planet...

Oh maaaaaan <3 <3 We now declare our undying love for Liv Tyler <3




This particular entry is in no way B.S. It is the complete and utter truth. WE LOVE LIV TYLER!!!!