Paris Hilton's animal-prostitution ring: Client list revealed!

Hollywood Scandal! 

Celebrities fear for their careers as star-packed client list goes public!

So, her we go! The juicy bits are starting to fall from the bone, as the trial against Paris Hilton is pending.

Apparently Paris is starting to realize that she is in some seriously hot water, cuz she is selling out old "costumers" - one by one. So far we have these celebs as confirmed animal-prostitution costumers: You will be shocked!

1. Gary Busey!

   

Gary Busey has, according to court-documents, been purchasing "favors" from 3 different animals on at least 26 occasions since 2004!!!! 

The main object of his affection seems to be a 4 year old chimp named Sven-Douglas. Gary has been spending close to three months with S-D, including a lavish trip to a private island in the Caribbean! 

Besides from S-D Gary has twice "hooked up" with a Texas based Donkey named Küche, and a medium sized porcupine known only as "P", due to privacy requests from P's current foster family.

Yeezus!

2. Mike Tyson:

Mike Tyson has been a regular costumer for years, and his favorite "sweetheart" is a pigeon named Daisy, which Mike actually ended up buying from Paris in 2010. Daisy passed away due to "natural causes" in late 2012. 

Since Mike has been rebounding with a wide range of different animals through "Forbidden Forrest". 

His last purchase was in May, 2013 where he had a two hour rendezvous with a mole from Scottsdale, Arizona named "Dickson".


For more information, on this CWAZY case: click here, here & here

Story developing....

Unrecognizable X-tina will star in new "Terrence Malick" western!

It's official! 

X-tina has landed another movie role.

This time she will appear in an "erotic western meets free Willy meets Mrs. Doubtfire"... Sounds... ahem.. unique... 

Among the other cast members are A-listers such as Calista "Ally McBeal" Flockhart & Adam "hoover" Sandler. What a line-up!

Tom Cruise finally "speaks the truth"

"Yes, it is true: I'm gay"

After numerous years of denying the truth, Tom is finally ready to come clean about his secret life as a gay man! And a possible heir to the british throne!

We applaud you Tom, for finally telling, what everyone has known for ages. But Tom also throws a surprise loveaffair into the equation: A budding romance with Britains very own Prince Charles.

In an interview with People coming out this week, Tom Cruise spills the beans on his privat sex life. And we have a few interesting quotes for ya, right here:

On his failed relationship to Katie Holmes Cruise says the following:

"Its funny 'cause it felt kinda real with Katie for a while. I mean, she kind of reminds you a little bit of a dude, with the, you know, tomboy attitude an all. It all went south when she got pregnant though. I mean, what dude gets knocked up? The swollen boobs and all that, YUK! But Suri is the single most precious thing in my life, she has my genes and I se myself in her. But the whole pregnancy thing made me think of Katie as more of a baby making machine, and not much else..."

"...she (Katie) kind of reminds you a little bit of a dude.."

On his lovelife he says:

"It was really wild in the 80s, The Top Gun Years! I was O.N F.I.R.E! I had studs all over the place. I used to go down to the docks with Bob Saget and Mickey Rourke. We were kind af an item back then. Oh man! I also have to mention Will Smith, we have definitely been "spankin' the banana" a few times over the years! I would snort that guy! Seriously: if you ever get the chance, you sleep with Will! Jada is one lucky lady! That man is a walking r*m-job!

"we have definitely been "spankin' the banana" a few times over the years!"

On why he is finally coming out:

"I'm Tom Cruise, I don't live a lie! Its just my decision when i wanna tell people stuff about myself! Its a Scientology thing. I felt it was time, when you hit 50 its a lot easier to hit up a date, especially with a king to be, if people know that you are in fact gay. I am gay. And proud! And just simply a very awesome man and human being!"

I am gay. And proud! And just simply a very awesome man and human being!"

On his romance with Prince Charles:

"I just want to say that when you find that special someone, who can FINALLY help you become a member of the The Royal Family, something I always knew I was born to, you grab on to that person and make it marry you, even if that means hog-tying it, and dragging it down the aisle! But he is a dear man. A bit old. And what he lacks in the face, is well compensated for by his Royal titles!

 "He is a dear man."

"What he lacks in the face, is well compensated for by his Royal titles!"

If you want to read the rest of this very honest interview, pick up a copy of People magazine, or stay tuned for more, right here on BigFatLies!










Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity

First band on the moon:

Celine Dion to become first singer in space!

Early may next year, the first concert to ever take place in outer space, will be preformed on the moon by not other than Miss Celine Dion. 

So far Justin Bieber has bought a ticket...

This is something out of the ordinary! A concert on the moon, with Celine "my heart will go on" Dion. 

The ticket prices start at 17.500.000 $, which includes the trip and several freeze dried meals on board of a real spaceship! 

So, will we be seeing you in the ticket line or is it to "out of this world" for your budget? 

Let us know...

George, is that a leotard?

Former president of The United States, George W. Bush, goes shopping at Wallmart in his undies..!

What an... ehm... interesting.. look for the former president? George Walker Bush was spotted yesterday at a Wallmart in Kansas, sporting a salmon/flesh colored leotard and not much else.

Other shoppers noted that George smelled like "dogs urine" and was "talking very loudly to him self about hammock repair", while checking out the frozen foods section.

What on God's green earth has happened here? Just the fact that the former most powerfull man on earth was sporting dreadlocks?? 

To make matters worse, earlier this month a picture of "Bushy" wearing a tin foil hat, found its way on to the internet...

Do you think that George has lost it or is he just finally showing his true colors? 

Sound of below.

Story developing....

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Odd date?

Sharon Stone seen walking with strange man in diaper!

So, gorgeous Sharon Stone seemed to have a fun day yesterday! 

After doing some shopping and sidewalk strolling in Hollywood on wednesday, Sharon Stone apparently ran into this elderly, diaper wearing fella. Sharon, gracious as always, seemed to handle the situation with a smile. In fact the odd couple walked several blocks together with diaper-man on the phone and Sharon giggling away.

Turns out the fella was no stranger to the Stone at all. He is a "busines associate". Exactly which busines these two are engaging in, we really don't know. But we sure would like to...

Sharon Stones reps tells us that the man's name is Gleba George and that the two go waaaay back. But thats all they are willing to spill at this point.

Maybe this is Hollywoods new odd couple?

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Enjoy:

Simply because she happens to be the most gorgeous thing on this planet...

Oh maaaaaan <3 <3 We now declare our undying love for Liv Tyler <3




This particular entry is in no way B.S. It is the complete and utter truth. WE LOVE LIV TYLER!!!!

Splitsville!

This week in celebrity breakups!

So, quite a few couples called it dunzo and ended their relationships this week. We present to you, the three most infamous breakups of the week:

In happier times...

1. CHRISTINA AGUILERA & DUANE "DOG" CHAPMAN:

A long string of events, mainly regarding Xtina's personal life, finally made The Dog throw in the towel.

A source close to the couple explains that Xtina's complete lack of interest in finding her, apparently missing son, 5 year old Max Liron made things snowball.

He also does not approve of her new, old take on 2004 mega hit: carwash. He finds the video: "Not suited for human eyes" and "an abomination on the world".

Xtina was seen leaving Dog's Hollywood Hills home on monday on her bike, declaring to the paparazzi that she was "never f***ing coming back"!

Xtina leaving The Dog.

Xtina's reps confirm the split with the following statement:

"It is true that Miss Aguilera and Mr. Chapman are no longer  a couple. They will not remain friends, and everything they bought together will be given to charity".

So there is that. No more sweet, sweet bounty huntin' for these two...

No more schwanß for Paris...

2. PARIS HILTON & GERMAN NAPKIN HEIRE CLAUS "üBERRASCHUNG" TEILMANN:

This has not been the best week Paris Hilton. As her disturbing case on organized animal prostitution unravels, Paris has not only lost her freedom, but also her on-again off-again love connection with "überraschung", the billionaire german napkin-playboy. 

He has made it very public, that he no longer wishes to be affiliated with miss Hilton, being a vivid raccoon lover himself. 

His publicist declares that there will be no more napkin folding between Teilmann and Paris in the future!

Oh well...

Yeezus you're tall!

3. KIM KARDASHIAN & KANYE WEST YEEZUS

This one we didn't see coming! 

Only days after welcoming baby girl Kardashian-West-Yeezus, the couple calls it quits. 

We still have very little information on how and why, but an insider reveals that it "probably had something to do with hight". 

Kanye has, very famously, chosen to grow almost 3 feet in the last three months, and Kim thinks that they now "look stupid as a couple". 

We will keep you posted, as we get to the bottom of this, very surprising, break up!

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Paris Hilton caught!

Paris Hilton arrested; trying to steal a bunch of dogs!

Finally, after several days on the run, Paris Hilton has been aprehended by the law. She was caught outside of "Manny's Doggy-Style", a pet shop on Sunset Boulevard, earlier this morning, with several stolen puppies!

Happy Paris, minutes before arrest!

Paris seemed to be in complete an utter denial about her legal troubles, and was in a "pretty good mood", an onlooker says. That is, until she was put in handcuffs and taken away by officers.

"Can I just keep one, just one!" Paris hollered, as police officers dragged her away. The stolen puppies are safe and back at Manny's, according to owner Manny "Dawg" StiefelSchnabel.

Stealing puppies might be the least of miss Hilton's legal troubles at this point. Something tells us it's probably not going to help her case though. She is, as previously reported: the main suspect in a disturbing case regarding organized animal prostitution! 

Paris will be presented in a court of law later today. 

Stay tuned.... 

For more info on the affair go: here & here.

UPDATE:

Paris just arrived in court, looking like this:

Gurl ain't helpin' herself......

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Paris on the run II

The prostitution ring unravels...

"Forbidden Forrest" is the name of Paris Hiltons high class animal prostitution and escort service, and we've got the advertising pictures! 

Looking for the puuurrrrfect lover?

In need of a "babe" tonight?

Going for a "rough ride"?

"Fishing" for a good time?

So these pictures are a little hard to explain! 

The pictures are taken from the official "Forbidden Forrest" website. The price varies a lot, depending on which animal and which service you are looking for. 

Paris is still M.I.A, but several eyewitnesses has seen her on a farm in Brentwood, Ca, trying to pick up some gorgeous cattle and an elderly cat....

For more info on this affair: Click here

Story developing......




Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Paris on the run!

Top news: 

Paris Hilton on the run from the law!!!

Paris Hilton is on the run from the law!

After a run-in with police officers, who were called to her Hollywood Hills home on saturday, a naked and screaming Paris fled the scene on a scooter.

She was last seen driving through a nearby forrest, screaming and crying.

So far no word on why the coppers was called to the heiress' premises in the first place.

According to eyewitnesses, Paris looked "out of her mind".

Story developing....

UPDATE:

Apparently Paris has been under investigation for tax-fraud and running an animal-prostitution ring. She is also under suspicion for causing psychological damage to an animal or mammal while under the influence of alcohol and or drugs.

The investigation has been going on for quite som time now and the police finally has hardcore proof in form of witnesses (previous customers)! So far a lama, a squirrel and a medium sized carpe local to the L.A area have agreed to testify in a court of law through an animal psychic.

If convicted Paris could spend the next many years in federal prison, and would have to pay up a whopping 1.7 mill in back taxes, damages and psychological rehabilitation for the animals.

Paris is still missing, and an arrest warrant is out for Miss Hilton.

So far there is no official comments from any member of the Hilton family....

Paris with an ex employee, Wade Hammock from Michigan.

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Couple alert: Taylor Lautner & Bill Cosby

"I'm taking the lover that gives me joy, I want to live life fearlessly..."

Taylor Lautner on untraditional romance with Bill "Kids Say the Darndest Things" Cosby.

Even though 76 year old Bill "Huxtable" Cosby has chosen to stay mum on the subject, his 21 year-old lover and mega twilight star Taylor Lautner is now lifting the veil on the answers to some of the many, many, MANY questions on the mind of the press and general public. How did they meet? When did Bill realize he is a crossdresser? Are the rumors true, are they engaged? We have got some of the answers and also a few pictures from Lautners private album.

To the question regarding how and where they met, Lautner says the following:

"So, I met Hux (Bill Cosby's female name. ed.) at a private party. I think he felt kind of left out, so i decided to strike up a conversation, and somethings just startet to 'make sense'.. We 'clicked' instantly, and the rest is between Hux and I, but, damn.. You only get that once in a lifetime...Man oh man."

It's a smiling young man, sharing his first humble steps into love. His world has turned up side down, and he cannot hide his happiness. Not one bit. He goes on to tell a bit about how Hux came in to being:

"Hux has always existed, it has just always been a private part of a very public human being. Now,  being with me, Hux has a lot more room to blossom. Hux is my soulmate and.... just like a....butterfly.!"

And now for one of the big ones: Do we hear wedding bells in the near future, or is this simply a rumor:

"No, we are not engaged. Not yet. But it is definitely something I see for us in the future. I do want Hux to one day be my wife, my life partner, my everything. But we have just recently started our journey together. It is a very special journey, not to be rushed."

On societys judgment, Taylor is very clear:

"I'm taking the lover that gives me joy, I want to live life fearlessly. I want to live it with Hux, and with honor and an abundance of love. All this Hux gives me. All this and the sky..."

We absolutely find the untraditional couple brave and inspiring, and wish them the best of luck on their 'journey'...









Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Princess Di biopic

French man Gerard Depardieu to play the beloved princess of Wales in new upcoming biopic.

What an exciting idea! We just can't wait to see this one! We totally love Diana, and would love to see her life performed by a talented actor like Gerard!

Here are som candids from the set of the movie, which has the enticing working title: "What happened to my clogs?"

The movie also stars actors like: Hugh Grant, Vin Diesel, Diane Keaton, Will Ferrel and Flavio Briatore. So far, an all male cast. What an interesting approach....

<3 Diana <3 

Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

No teeth, no problem!

A new Hollywood trend, makes female celebs pull out their front teeth!

It's called "The BJ Mouth", and it's catching on!

So here we go, with our first photo gallery, exclusive: 

So, is this the new "thing" or just a fad? Would you consider a "BJ mouth" makeover?

Let us know....





Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Christina Aguilera on missing son and new car wash video

"I don't believe in looking for what is lost, it will eventually return or reveal it self, if God and the Aliens so wishes.."

This is the somewhat disturbing message, in regards to Aguileras missing son. She seems a lot more interested in talking about her new remake of her 2004 hit "Car wash".

Picture from the new "Car wash" video...

In an interview with swedish magazine: "Utan ögon" X-tina explains: 

"I just think it is silly to talk about it! Max is a very strong soul, he will find his way. he is not lost, not one bit! (not) one... he is a traveller and I am his lighthouse, so i better not go looking for him, or he might get lost on his path. That is all i have to say. Thats all. Now about my new video, it is going to be a-f***ing-mazing! You just can't imagine how great! I just can't stop smiling when i think about it"

Well... Allright then... 

Story developing....




*Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Bieber on Roids?

Is Justin Bieber on Steroids??

Questions are raised since new photos arise.. 

We now present you with two pictures, taken three months apart. To us it sure looks like the Biebs has been pumping up his body. Do you think he had a little help from steroids?

 Taken: april 4th 2013, in NY

Taken: June 8th 2013, at "FitnessFoLife", Kentucky.

Don't be shy, what do you think? 

We have no official comments from The Biebster thus far....




*Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidental.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.

Brad Pitt has penis removed in sympathy with wife Angelina jolies double mastectomy.

"The best sex is in the mind". 

Brad Pitt comments on penis removal. 

"There is absolutely no medical reason, what so ever, to have my penis removed. This decision is made in the heart, not the mind. I don't need my penis to feel like a man, and sex is a state of mind, not a physical thing".

Brad Pitt has chosen to be completely open about his decision.

"I now have a small pee-pee hole where my penis used to be. This was my birthday present for my wife. We are not defined by limbs or organs, if she was ever hurt i would chop of my legs in sympathy. I love her, i really do".

Well, it would kinda, sorta, really piss us of, if our husband chopped of his wiener as a gift... No word on Angelina Jolies reaction.

Story developing...





*Everything on this blog is complete and utter B.S. Every picture is photoshopped and/or manipulated in some way. Should anything collide with reality, it would be purely coincidential.  No harm or malice is intended. This is purely made as a humourous comment on tabloid absurdity.